destruction of the Seireitei
by poodlecake85
Summary: a short humorous story about the destruction of a large portion of the Seireitei. just going to tag the two characters who have the most story time. pretty sure i messed up with Sasakibe's name but not sure. Yamamoto is probably ooc. but it's meant to be funny and he is too damn serious. also not meant to be any pairings. i din't mean to make it seem like that.


Momo woke to the sounds of destruction.

From what she could tell when the dust settled someone, or something, had decided to destroy her room. She would later find out that she got off lightly.

* * *

Kira knew something was wrong. He didn't know what had happened but he no longer had a door.

His captain was far worse off however bearing the full brunt of whatever had decided to rampage throughout their divisions barracks. This meant that for the time being he had to give up his bed and sleep with the rest of the squad so his captain could have some semblance of privacy.

Wherever they were going to put him and the rest of the squad to sleep now that the division was nearly levelled he didn't know.

* * *

Shuuhei slept like a log. When he awoke in the morning he found that his division had been spared from whatever had decided to destroy the Seireitei the night before. Unfortunately this meant he was forced to help out the other squads with repairs and cleaning.

* * *

Nemu was one of the first to awaken. Not being sure what to do she went to wake up her Captain, he had promptly yelled at her and called her useless before readjusting his night time ear plugs and going back to sleep.

When he awoke to half of his labs destroyed he was furious and demanded an explanation. When she tried to explain that she had woken him up he merely called her useless again.

* * *

Renji first awoke to what sounded like barking, this was followed by the sounds of destruction from what he assumed was the department of research and developments main labs. He decided to let them handle it and went back to sleep.

Later he was awoken by something small and hard landing upon his stomach for a brief second before it pushed off of him.

Before he could even contemplate what it was something much larger forced its way through his window destroying much of the wall on the way before bursting through the opposite wall. Crushing his bed and throwing Renji to the ground on its way

Renji decided that he would not have his bed between the only two windows in the room next time.

* * *

Rangiku woke in the middle of the night and decided she would stop drinking before bed.

When she woke in the morning she discovered that the scene she witnessed the night before had not been a drunken hallucination she decided that maybe drinking before bed wasn't so bad.

* * *

Omeada was not pleased when he found out he would have to be the one filling out all of the paperwork for the next few weeks. But something told him that if he didn't do it he would lose more than his spare time.

* * *

Isane had work to do. Whatever had happened the night before had brought the fourth a huge amount of wounded. Luckily they had been spared the destruction that had wrought itself throughout the Seireitei. She didn't know why they had been, but if she looked out her window she could see what remained of the third and she was grateful that whatever it was had avoided them.

* * *

Nanao was ready to kill someone, she knew who she was going to kill as well. It wasn't what ever had caused the destruction she was helping to clean up, no it was the man who lay on a pile of rubble, sipping sake, and calling out compliments whenever she bent to pick something up.

She was seriously considering punning him through when he finally decided to help out.

* * *

Yachiru was confused. Baldy was nowhere to be seen, normally around this time of day he would be telling Kenny something, but he wasn't here today for some reason.

She also found it confusing how easy it was to navigate the Seireitei when so many buildings were destroyed. She kind of like it like this so she was disappointed when people started to clean everything up.

* * *

Rukia knew her brother was furious. He wouldn't show it, his face would remain as stoic as always and his voice would be as clear as it was yesterday. But she could feel the anger radiating off of him.

When she looked out onto the grounds of the kuchiki estate she didn't blame him, sure it wouldn't really hurt their finances to repair it all, but the damage done to their honor, that they had allowed something to destroy so much of their property, would take a long time to forget.

* * *

Iba was worried. Sure he was worried about all of the destruction that had been caused to the many divisions, and of course he was worried about all of the gasses which kept coming out of the labs, and yes he was worried about the state of the squads budget after this was over but right now, he was worried about his captain and what would happen to him.

* * *

As Sasakibe stood before head captain Yamamoto he wondered how the man could seem so unaffected by the destruction of the Seireitei.

"I have been informed of what took place last night. I assume you have the list of damages." The head captain spoke up bring Sasakibe out of his thoughts. "I require only the short list."

"yes sir." Sasakibe quickly bowed before listing off the damages. "Squads one and four avoided any damage at all. Squads two and thirteen suffered minor damages but no injuries. Squads five through ten suffered minor damage but nothing serious. Squad two lost a few buildings and had some trouble when their captain discovered what was happening. Squad eleven it seemed attempted to intervene, and over half the squad has been sent to squad four for medical treatment, but no major damage was done to the division barracks. Squads three and twelve seem to have been the worst hit sir. Squad three will need to be given temporary housing while the barracks are rebuilt and squad twelve has been having trouble keeping some of the more toxic chemicals contained. Both divisions will take months to get back to full operational capacity." He finished his report to the head captain and noticed that the man had stayed completely focused the whole time.

"is there anything else?" the head captain asked.

"oh yes, the issue of the Kuchiki estate. While captain Kuchiki has explained the he can afford the monetary expense of repairing his grounds it seems that he wants us to cover it, something about us allowing this to happen." Sasakibe explained. He had in fact just come from a rather unnerving meeting with the mentioned captain.

"no, if the Kuchiki's wish to live in the walls of the Seireitei then they must accept that their property is endangered as much as any other property within these walls. Now, what of the offenders?"

"well, Captains Komamura and Soi Fon are currently in isolation cells, it seems that Captain Komamura is being reasonable and accepting but Captain Soi Fon has had to be restrained with high level Bakudo sir." He said before looking down to make sure he wasn't going insane, but no, there was a black cat rubbing the side of its head against his leg. "Please stop that lady Yoruichi. It is quite unnerving."

"oh what's wrong Sasakibe. Don't like woman rubbing themselves on you huh." Came the rather male voice of Yoruichi in her cat form.

"I'm not a huge fan of cat's actually." At this Yoruichi huffed and padded over to the head captain and sat on his lap. To Sasakibe's dismay the head captain began to pet her as if she were just a cat. "what shall we do sir, in regards to punishment."

"nothing. The expenses will come out of squad sevens budget and Captains Komamura and Soi Fons personal salaries. That is all Sasakibe, now please let the captains out of their confinement, but do so gently." Once this was said the head captain went back to petting a rather content were cat.

* * *

Once Sasakibe had left the head captain spoke to the cat that was currently purring in his lap. "why didn't you change back into your shinigami form when he started chasing you?" they both knew the reason but he wanted to make her admit it.

"Well once he started chasing me all logic flew from my mind. I must say that captain Komamura can be quite scary when he gets all animal like that." It was a lie and they both knew it, but Yoruichi was not going to openly admit to her part in the destruction.

"And when Captain Soi Fon began chasing him? You didn't think to stop the chase then, she could have gotten hurt." He stopped petting her to move his beard away from her after she had started playing with it.

"She's a big girl now, well kind of, she can take care of herself. Besides it could do her some good to chase after a man sometimes." To be honest this hadn't occurred to her at all the night before.

The head captain stopped and looked down and the cat in his lap when he realised what she meant. "Sajin may not be the best person for that" he stated while resuming petting her.

"he could be the best person for that." She said trying to draw him into this conversation. "it could be as, beneficial, for him as well."

"perhaps." The head captain said simply before he stopped with his petting and picked her up under her front legs and held her in front of him. "But I think you just wanted to play."

"Maybe that's how it started but I think I'm on to something here. Now get back to petting old man." She said while trying to squirm out of his grip.

"All right." He said as he put her back down on his lap and resumed his petting.

"Really?" she hadn't thought he would go along so easily. "But I may need to you to _warm_ him up to the idea first." He noticed the extra emphasis she had placed on 'warm' and took the hint, letting out small amounts of reiatsu from his hands to heat them while petting her. This earned him a rather deep purr and a very content cat.

* * *

As he watched the black cat leave the room Yamamoto couldn't help but look forward to the ensuing chaos she was going to bring to two captains lives, more than two if he knew her. He was starting to get bored.


End file.
